From Hanafee to Sabrina

This letter was written by my beloved husband years ago...before his mama; my mother-in-law passed away...thought of posting it here...to remind me how beautiful our love is...and how lucky I am to be his...

 
Sayang/mommy/Sabrina/my wife,
I couldn’t sleep at right now its 0141 Sunday. 25th May… I turned on your laptop and I thought id write you something… so here it is.

With every touch and kiss of you I fall in love even more. I think that sometimes it’s a dangerous thing, thinking how much I am addicted to your touch. Your kiss, your hugs, even as I’m writing this im thinking about the way you touch me, the way you hold my hand, the way you make me smile by just looking at me. I love you without hesitance. And with every touch you make me feel real. You make me feel safe. You make me feel……. Loved…

I wish I could let you know how much I love you, I wish I could let you understand just how much I love you…I wish I could turn the world upside down and be with you.

I wish I could whisper the words of love into you heart and not into your ear.

I wish I could kiss your lips and fall in love with you and kiss you again and fall again *repeat forever*

I wish I could close my eyes and with every breath I take, you draw closer and when I open my eyes I see you and I say “good Morning”

I wish I could stay like this with you forever…

I don’t like thinking about the future… its too full of uncertainties that it scares me… but when I think of our future, it’s a time I cannot wait to face. I cannot wait to be married and to share your responsibilities. I cant wait for our first night in bed together. I cant wait for the first time when I introduce you as “This is Sabrina, My wife”

I cant wait our first dinner in our first home. I cant wait for our first subuh solat together. I cant wait for our first breakfast the first morning we wake up together. I cant wait the first time I kiss you and tell you “thank you for giving birth to my son”… then again I cant wait for the next four times youre gonna give birth also to my sons ☺

I cant wait for our first fight as husband and wife, I cant wait for the first time we apologize to each other as husbands and wife. I cant wait to come home to you and hear you say “how was your day abang?”

I cant wait for the first time we answer our kids “How did you guys meet?” I cant wait to tell them how nervous I was when I first saw you. I cant wait for our kids to say “Eeeiiii mommy ngan daddy tak malu lah bleh plak peluk peluk kat dapur eiiii…”

I cant wait for the first time they tell they’re friends “My dad tu ntah apa apa and my mom kuat berleter…… but they love each other so much..”

I cant wait to call our children and ask them “Korang balik raya ngan mommy ngan daddy tak cuti ni?”

I cant wait to kiss you fifty years from now as husband and wife and still fall in love with you…… I cant wait to tell the world ive been married to my wife for 50 years and I love her even more then when I met her….

I cant wait to kiss you every night before we sleep and everyday when we wake up…..

I cant wait for our first raya as husband and wife…. I cant wait to treat your family like my own. I cant wait to say to your mom or dad “Mak.. mak sorang kat jb ni… mak datang duduk dengan fee ngan ina lah mak…. Fee risau mak sorang kat sini…” This applies to your dad to I don’t mind and my mom too if you don’t mind

I cant wait for the first time when you kiss my moms hand and she pinches your nose gently and kiss your cheek and tell you “You’re my favorite daughter, you know that right?”

I cant wait for you to hug me gently when im facing a problem at work and you tell me “everythings gonna be ok….”

I cant wait to say “Youre right sayang… its gonna be ok…”
I cant wait to tell you “don’t worry sayang ill figure things our for us..”
I cant wait to hear you say “Youre right abang..” and youll hug me…..
I cant wait to kiss you fifty years from now and still fall in love with you….
I cant wait for our last kiss before I die and ill tell the heavens I loved and lived with an amazing woman who loved me thank you god… I didn’t think id be so lucky…
I cant wait to pick up our kids from school and telling them “Mommy masak best malam ni..”
I cant wait to hear you scream from the door of our house… “Daddy… dah dah bawak anak anak masuk mandi dah nak maghrib dah ni..dah lah main basketball tu…”
I cant wait to hear you say “Abang… sayang malas nak masak mlm ni… makan luar boleh??”
I cant wait to say “takperlah biar abang masak k??? ker say ada teringin nak makan aper aper??”
I cant wait to say “happy 1st anniversary!” “happy 10th anniversary!” “Happy 20th anniversary!!!”
“Happy 30th anniversary!!!” “Happy 40th Anniversary!!” and “Happy 50th Anniversary!!”
I cant wait to go to midvalley thirty years from now and say… “Remember this is where I first met you…”
I cant wait go to putrajaya with you and say “You remember???”
I cant wait to see you every valentines and buy you flowers with cards that say “You know I don’t celebrate valentines but it’s a good chance to buy you flowers to tell you youre still the love of my life.”
I cant wait to kiss you 50 years from now and still fall in love with you….
I cant wait for us be 70 and 69 and still together and in love with each other….

Have I mentioned that I cant wait to kiss you 50 years from now and still fall in love with you??? If I have its only because I really want it heheh…

But most of all I cant wait for the moment where we sit together on a bench somewhere looking at our grand kids playing and I turn to you and say “Ive done everything I ever wanted to in this world… its only meaningful because I have you…” 

I cant wait to hold your hand after that and kiss your cheek and say “After 50 years sayang…. I love you even more than the day I met you 50 years ago…. And as long as I shall live..my love for you is only going to grow… I love you sweetheart..”

p/s – after you read this, youre gonna tell me you want it in the blog and you can post it for me… I do sayang love you with everything I have and all those things I wrote I meant… I love you…. I hope you like this.. it didn’t cost much but its everything my poetic mind and soul can offer you… I love you

Ya Allah

Written on MS Word in November 2012...Sharing online today.

 

Ya Allah,

Aku bersyukur kepadaMu,

Kerana Kau memanggil suamiku pulang kepadaMu dengan mudah,

walaupun aku dapat melihat dan merasakan suamiku kesakitan dan menggigil…

tapi sesungguhnya kesakitan itu pasti dirasai oleh semua makhlukMu apabila tiba masanya..

Aku bersyukur Ya Allah,

Kerana Kau memanggil suamiku pulang kepadaMu,

Pada waktu aku di sampingnya,

Pada waktu dia berada sangat sangat hampir denganku…dengan keluargaku,

Bukan ketika aku tiada,

Bukan ketika aku tidur,

Bukan pada waktu dia keseorangan di rumah di Kuala Lumpur,

Bukan pada waktu dia berada dalam bas menuju ke Kuala Lumpur,

Bukan pada waktu dia memandu,

Bukan pada waktu dia di tandas,

Bukan pada waktu dia di pejabat,

Bukan pada waktu-waktu yang menyukarkan kami untuk menguruskannya...

Aku bersyukur Ya Allah,

Kerana aku, isterinya, menjadi orang yang terakhir dia bersama, lihat, senyum ….

Aku bersyukur Ya Allah,

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Merancang setiap sesuatu

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Mengetahui apa yang tersembunyi

Aku Redha Ya Allah,

Jika ini ketentuanMu untuk kami,

Aku terima dengan redha,

Aku percaya pasti ada hikmah di sebalik semua ini,

Berikanlah aku pahala di atas kesabaran dan keredhaan ini,

Kau satukanlah kami semula di SyurgaMu Ya Allah,

Engkaulah yang Maha Mengetahui akan kasih sayang dan cintaku kepadanya

Janganlah kau hilangkan dia dalam ingatan dan hatiku,

Kau lindungilah dia, kau selamatkanlah dia

Kau permudahkanlah segala untuknya di alam sana..

Amin amin ya rabbal alamiin…

04 Muharram 1434

Assalamualaikum.
Bismillah.

Most people would start their new year post with happy notes. =) I was one of them for past years.
But for this 2013...allow me to start my new year post with different tones and news...

Am not sure whether there's still any readers...since it's been such a long long time we (hanafee and sabrina) updated this blog. but it's ok, I do this for me. to remind myself to be stronger and wiser. 

Please do not cry ok? =)

----------------------------- 

HANAFEE ABDUL RAHMAN

17 JAN 1985 – 18 NOV 2012

PULANG KE RAHMATULLAH PADA

04 MUHARRAM 1434H

Ya Allah

Kau muliakanlah kedatangan suamiku..

Kau ampunkanlah hapuskanlah dosa-dosanya

dosa kecil besar, dosa awal akhir, dosa nyata, dosa tersembunyi

Kau terimalah amalan kebaikannya

Kau berilah Nur kepadanya

Kau lapangkanlah luaskanlah kuburnya

Kau lindungilah dia, kau selamatkanlah dia dari azabMu

Kau permudahkanlah segala untuknya

Kau teguhkanlah dia dalam menjawab pertanyaan malaikat malaikatMu

Kau satukanlah kembali aku dan suamiku Hanafee Abdul Rahman di SyurgaMu.

kepadaMu aku sembah, kepadaMu aku minta pertolongan, aku memohon

Ampunilah suamiku..

Pandanglah dia dgn pandangan belas kasihanMu..

Engkaulah yg Maha Agung, Maha Besar, Maha Mengasihani,

Engkaulah yg Menguasai langit dan bumi…

Terimalah doa ku ini.

Amiin.