Mr. and Mrs. Hanafee

Finally, Mr. and Mrs. Hanafee! Yay!!

Turned 25 yesterday. Double Yay!!

Ok, that's all. The updates from me. Hahaha.

Positivity

This post is the reply to the previous post. Actually I wanted to leave a comment there but I guess it’s too long, so I’ll just publish as a new post. =) Alright, I am not trying to defend girls here ok, just sharing experiences and thoughts. Been there, done that, kind of thing. *smiles*

Seth wrote,

"What’s the need for her to go out with another guy? Did I do something wrong?
Does she not love me anymore? Am I not good enough?"

Girls also have those questions running through their head when it comes to their guy wanting to go out or hang out with another girl.This kind of problem, it depends on the state of the relationship…whether it’s rocky or stable. If it’s rocky, then trust me, both parties don’t want to hear the answers. We all know the truth hurts.

If the other party wants to go out with someone else instead of their significant other during the time when the relationship is not in a good state, then it means the couple has problems. Full stop.

But what if you two are ok, then suddenly your bf/gf asks permission to go out with someone else? I know… I know… we would panic, right? That’s why those questions of self-esteem suddenly pop-up out of no where. *smiles*

And when you come to this point, it’s best if you and your girl/guy talk about it and get the answers to all the questions in your head. This is to make sure both parties understand the situation they are in. If you guys don’t talk, the other party might do something unexpected behind your back in the future like sneaking out to meet the other guy/girl, we don’t want that to happen, do we?

It’s not because you are inadequate, it’s not because he/she doesn’t love you anymore, it’s not because you do something wrong that he/she wants to go out with the other guy/girl.

It’s because they want space to catch up with old friends who happens to be the opposite sex. It doesn't happen always.. Perhaps it's the only one chance for them to meet after such a long time...

It is the opposite sex here that make this problem such a big deal to us. Whats with the thought of your other half laughing or having fun with the opposite sex. It worries you. You don’t trust the people around your bf/gf. And the last thing you wanna do is not trust your other half.

OPPOSITE SEX is the key word of why we don’t wanna let him/her go out. And maybe, we forget the other key which is OLD FRIEND. We meet with old friend and talk about past and present life, and you are the present life. He/she will talk about you to the other OLD FRIEND. Don't u feel proud of it? Of of how his/her eyes shining brightly when they talk about you?

Being positive, one can gain so much yet one can also lose... there is a choice, there is an option, but when it comes to being negative, one just loses out. We take a risk when we remain positive... we take a chance.

That chance may just turn our whole life upside down, bring us rainbows all year long, shine our darkest nights forever and nourish our soul for eternity.

So instead of questioning your self-esteem, why not being positive, about yourself, significant other and the whole situation?

*smiles*

Another Choice

What i am about to tell you might sound like i took it out of a typical drama. But in actuality, this actually happened to a friend of mine. So here's the scenario... before i start... i would like to state... i cannot believe im writing this down... but some of the things he said struck a note....

My friend (lets call him Alif) has a girlfriend (call her Alin) and Alin has just gotten an offer to work abroad in Australia.. or New Zealand not sure... but the thing is that they've been dating for 4 years and pretty much have never dated anyone except each other... So Alin decided it was not worth leaving Alif behind. Alif wanted it to be Alin's choice so whatever she chose to he just accepted it. Dont get me wrong, Alif probably is just as successful as Alin but maybe Alin is just lucky. Anyway, Alin's parents heard the story and invited Alif for a lunch outing just the three of them...

At this lunch outing... Alins parents convinced Alif that Alif was holding her back. They said even if Alif did not ask her to stay, he is the reason why Alin stayed and he should let her go pursue a dream and a future. The talk lasted for a few hours in which by the end... Alif was convinced he was holding her back... So Alif tried subtly convincing her to go... she was determined.. she wouldnt go because it would just pull them farther apart... So he did what he thought was necessary. He didnt wanna hold her back... so he said...

"I think we should end our relationship here... maybe its time to think about ourselves..." Alin heard this, questioned him which he answered with stares out the window... and Alin left...

Days that followed after that were filled with short messages on what had happened, did she do something wrong and of course in the end... do you have someone else... Alin is in pain... she was left...

Alif was in bigger pain... he had to leave someone he loved... this is what he said to me...

"I just dont get it... I loved her unconditionally... why is the first thing she asked after our break was not "did somethin happen??" but rather "is there someone else?" doesnt she know that this is killing me?? doesnt she know that the only reason i would leave her... if it meant better things for her??"

....................this is what i said............

In all honesty... you dont get to choose what you think is good for her... thats her choice... only she has the right to choose what she thinks would make her happy... its not her parents... and definitely not you... even if she has a successful future but if shes not happy without you then all the money in the world wont help...

Alin... you should know... how much he loves you... never once feeling like he wanted to even glance at another women... it kills him to let you go and the only reason why he's doing it is because he's doing what he thinks is right for you...

Alif... i understand youre insatiable need to make her life better... but have you ever thought that maybe... her life is only better when she has you around... think about it...

At the end of the day... everyday we make choices.. but we dont make choices for people in our lives... only they are allowed that luxury... we might get hurt or we might like the choices they make... but its still their choices... not ours... tell her the truth... let her pick... then you'll really know what makes you happy....

At five

This morning, at 4am, his handphone chirped and woke me from my senseless dream -_-

I don't remember the exact moment of waking up and grabbing the phone from his side and looking at it... much less looking at a miss call from an unknown number and reading an sms from a lonely chick who was unfortunate enough to to be awake at 4am on a weeknight.

The sms was a simple straighforward, albeit a little gedik sounding. I don't remember reading that sms or even trying to understand what it was trying to say, but I woke up safe and cosy in his arm a couple of hours later remembering that sms.

Now, I am not in the habit of checking my partner's phone/sms/email/etc anymore. I mean, what is the point? It shows lack of trust and also creates reasons to start fights. You know what I mean... "Who is this? Who is she? Why is she calling. You never told me about her. Since when u two starts emailing?" etc... And it doesn't work. Trust me. If they wanna cheat on you, they will do it any way they could. Besides, they will respect you more if you show enough respect and trust towards them. (Unless of course, if he is a complete pathetic asshole who is just never satisfied with whatever you do/sacrifice for them).

While i can sleep soundly in his arms, blessed with such good fortune to be able to win his heart and receive his warm kisses and hugs, looking into his eyes before I fall into deep sleep and waking up with his arms around me and kisses to start the day...

And that poor girl... she won't experience this with him as long as he is with me, and I thought of her, sitting up in bed, awake at 5am, thinking of him, and resorting to sending out smses and trying to call him and then being ignored... I just feel pity for her. (Unless of course, she becomes a real threat to me.)

Pity.

Damn. I have changed.

*p/s : a mix of whats real and whats not.