Thursday, November 27, 2014

Sharing is Therapy - Part 2

Sifat yang perlu ada semasa di hospital.

Tenang
Sab masih lagi perlu bertenang. Tak menangis. Tak sempat nak menangis pun sebenarnya. Sab rasa kalau korang menangis pun, sila jangan bising sebab kita sekarang berada di hospital iaitu zon orang sedang serabut dan tiada siapa heran dengan tangisan kita. Huhu. Maka, yang sab lakukan adalah menunggu dengan tenang.

Jujur.
Doctor akan tanya banyak soalan. Serious banyak soalan. Cth…awak siapa? semalam buat apa? Semalam makan apa? Pergi mana? Suami tinggal di mana? Suami sakit apa? Siapa doctor yang selalu rawat suami? Ada demam or sakit apa apa before this? Suami selalu makan ubat apa? Macam mana boleh jatuh? Jatuh dari mana? Sebelum jatuh tengah buat apa? Banyak giler soalan… Lebih dari yg sab state kat sini. Jawab sahaja dengan jujur tanpa berselindung satu apa pun. Kalau tak tahu pun cakap sahaja tak tahu tanpa rasa malu. Because I am a big fan of Grey’s Anatomy, from what I watched, it’s not a good thing if doctor missed an info.

Jangan marah marah
Soalan banyak dari doctor kan? Kita tengah runsing dan takut kan? Selalunya orang yg takut akan marah marah. Maka, adalah penting di sini untuk sab terus fokus tenang dan tidak marah. Cuba fikir, doctor tu jugak yang akan cuba sedaya upaya menyelamatkan suami kita. Memarahi doctor tidak akan membantu kita apa apa.

Sabar
Doctor atau pegawai perubatan akan ulang kali keluar masuk bilik. Samada keluar dengan soalan, atau keluar dengan berita gembira atau sedih. The conversation I had with the doctor was like this, it’s tattooed in my mind already.
“Puan, maaf, kami tidak dapat selamatkan suami puan.”
“Sudah try semua? Memang sudah tak boleh?”
“Ye puan.”
“Ok….. Terima kasih ya”
"Puan boleh masuk untuk lihat suami puan”
Sometimes when i flash back the memory, i myself could not even comprehend why i was so..i dont know...the conversation i had with the doctor when she broke the bad news...it sounded like... i wasnt sad at all..like i took this lightly.  

No. i was actually very very very heart broken. Shattered to pieces. Rasa macam nak bunuh diri sendiri ikut mati jugak. But i didn't.

When the doctor walked away. I said Innalillahi wainnailaihi rojiuun. And then I cried for a while. And then I remind myself not to cry. Sab tahan. Sebab sab fikir sab ada banyak benda untuk diuruskan dan sab tak boleh menangis sekarang. It's like fighting with own self. Sakit tau sebenarnya. But kita harus bersabar. Dan jangan sesekali meraung.

I gathered my strength. Genggam tangan, pejam mata and reminded myself “This is real. Face it”
So I walked into the emergency door. And there was my beloved husband, covered with white hospital blanket. Waktu tu kita akan rasa lemah macam tak boleh nak berjalan, but we have to keep going and tahan semua perasaan yang kita ada.
Berdiri di sebelah dia…sab pegang tangan dia… usap rambut dia…tengok muka dia puas puas… and I kissed him and I said… “Daddy…I am sorry….” and from that moment…I keep on reciting below doa for him until he was buried…and I prayed hard to Allah to let everything went smoothly for him. 
 
Beritahu rakan rakan, keluarga dan pejabat
Sab call and informed mak yg waktu tu tengah on the way with abah and danial, my younger brother.

Sab tiada ibu bapa mertua. So sab informed adik ipar. Sebelum tu masa sedang menunggu pun sab sudah beritahu adik ipar what happened.  Abang ipar ade dalam flight ke oversea waktu tu.

Sab informed best friend suami. Sab cari nombor telefon siapa yg sab simpan. So sab telefon seorang and then he informed the rest. Bagi yang sudah berkahwin, adalah penting di sini untuk kita tahu siapa kawan-kawan baik suami dan simpan nombor telefon mereka. So if something like this happened, they deserve to know among the firsts. Alhamdulillah, sab pernah ikut suami hang out dengan kawan kawan dia so I had no problem interacting with his friends.

Sab informed immediate boss. It happened on Sunday. So the office would know why I wouldn’t  be around the next day or day after or days after….  

Sab informed few of close friends that I could think of at that time.

So begitulah, and the words spread. Thank you to Facebook and Mobile Phones.

Bertanya
Jangan lupa tanya pada pegawai perubatan lepas ni kita perlu buat apa? and mereka pulak perlu buat apa? Sab tanya soalan soalan mcm ni:

“Lepas ni macam mana ya?”
“Mandi mayat boleh diuruskan di hospital tak?”
“Ade van untuk hantar ke masjid and kubur tak?”
“Ada apa-apa borang perlu isi tak?”
“Bayaran semua macam mana  ya?”

Pihak hospital beritahu yang husband perlu dibawa ke jabatan forensik.
 
Bertindak dengan segera
And since suami meninggal secara mengejut dan masih muda. Maka, ikut prosedur, perlu dibedah. Post mortem. Untuk mengetahui punca kematian. Mengetahui yang husband perlu dibedah….i was like dalam hati “what?! No it would hurt him”

“Eh, tak nak tak nak. Saya tak nak dia dibedah.Saya nak uruskan secepat yang mungkin”
“Harus dibedah puan, memang prosedur. Kalau puan tak benarkan, puan perlu report ke balai polis and dapatkan kebenaran hakim, lepas  tu baru kami tak bedah. Hari ni hari Ahad puan, kalau doctor tiada, post mortem mungkin esok and kebumi esok.”

Bila dengar macam tu rasa mcm nak marah kan? Sebab kita takut and tak nak arwah dikebumi esok. So I have to remind myself again to Tenang dan Jangan Marah Marah.
What I did after that were these and I had to settle them fast: Buat police report, Request Permit Kubur, Book van untuk bawak pergi masjid and kubur, follow through on whats happening in jabatan forensik, follow through on penggali kubur, pemandi jenazah, etc... 

Semua semua tu harus dibuat dengan cepat and I was determined to settle everything that day, before sun set.
 
Berjaya tak before sun set? Di bedah atau tidak? Ha… nantikan Part 3. Hehe.

Conclusion, have these traits when you are in hospital.
  1. Tenang
  2. Jujur
  3. Jangan Marah Marah
  4. Sabar
  5. Beritahu Rakan, Keluarga, Pejabat
  6. Bertanya
  7. Bertindak dengan segera.
 
Love, S

1 comment:

che mumia said...

Sab.. Ure so funny in the first few paragraph.. Hehe pastu sgt sedih again.. Yg u xtercakap apapa.. Sama like how i feel masa dpt call yg my 1st x xcident and lumpuh.. I was 21 he was 21, napee knows abt it maybe he didnt tell u sbb he got lots to think abt and when hes w u in a limited time he just wants to be w u.. I dont know y or maybe u forgot or he forgot.. Anyway i kindda got u.. Tried to imagine ur situation.. Maybe u feel numb kot? Or feel helpless? But try to be a responsible good wife to simpan mayat suami kesayangan.. I mmg xleh imagine dah how u held him for the last time.. Its just plain heartbreaking.. (Btw tgk cerita fault in our stars x?) i will give u a satisfying cry.. Make sure u sediakan baldi satu or maybe dua.. Try dl or beli cd if xtgk lagi.. Mmg recommended utk kt yg penah mengalami situasi yg xbyk org alami.. Kadang rasa dunia xadil.. But tu lah.. Xboleh buat apa.. But at least we had our fun.. Stgh org xrasa sab.. Xrasa cinta sampai ke tua dan mereka ttp happy.. Mcm all the beggers and the fugitives.. So what v can do is always have to be grateful w our life and life life to the fullest k? Keep smilling for hanee and keep cool and show the world u are one strong small iron lady w a big heart and a big husband (hehehe) i mmg cmni cara gurau lain mcm sikit but im tough and im kind.. Try to be, insyaAllah.. Its hard yes.. To follow Allahu path but it is the ideal way.. For Jannah.. May we live side by side in a community in Jannah.. I want a big bangalow w a swimming pool full of yellow and blue fishes.. IsyaAllah.. Ok bai.. Merepek dah ni.. Sapa punya blog ni? Hahaha ok bai (seriously... 😆)