Thursday, January 3, 2013

From Hanafee to Sabrina

This letter was written by my beloved husband years ago...before his mama; my mother-in-law passed away...thought of posting it here...to remind me how beautiful our love is...and how lucky I am to be his...

 
Sayang/mommy/Sabrina/my wife,
I couldn’t sleep at right now its 0141 Sunday. 25th May… I turned on your laptop and I thought id write you something… so here it is.

With every touch and kiss of you I fall in love even more. I think that sometimes it’s a dangerous thing, thinking how much I am addicted to your touch. Your kiss, your hugs, even as I’m writing this im thinking about the way you touch me, the way you hold my hand, the way you make me smile by just looking at me. I love you without hesitance. And with every touch you make me feel real. You make me feel safe. You make me feel……. Loved…

I wish I could let you know how much I love you, I wish I could let you understand just how much I love you…I wish I could turn the world upside down and be with you.

I wish I could whisper the words of love into you heart and not into your ear.

I wish I could kiss your lips and fall in love with you and kiss you again and fall again *repeat forever*

I wish I could close my eyes and with every breath I take, you draw closer and when I open my eyes I see you and I say “good Morning”

I wish I could stay like this with you forever…

I don’t like thinking about the future… its too full of uncertainties that it scares me… but when I think of our future, it’s a time I cannot wait to face. I cannot wait to be married and to share your responsibilities. I cant wait for our first night in bed together. I cant wait for the first time when I introduce you as “This is Sabrina, My wife”

I cant wait our first dinner in our first home. I cant wait for our first subuh solat together. I cant wait for our first breakfast the first morning we wake up together. I cant wait the first time I kiss you and tell you “thank you for giving birth to my son”… then again I cant wait for the next four times youre gonna give birth also to my sons

I cant wait for our first fight as husband and wife, I cant wait for the first time we apologize to each other as husbands and wife. I cant wait to come home to you and hear you say “how was your day abang?”

I cant wait for the first time we answer our kids “How did you guys meet?” I cant wait to tell them how nervous I was when I first saw you. I cant wait for our kids to say “Eeeiiii mommy ngan daddy tak malu lah bleh plak peluk peluk kat dapur eiiii…”

I cant wait for the first time they tell they’re friends “My dad tu ntah apa apa and my mom kuat berleter…… but they love each other so much..”

I cant wait to call our children and ask them “Korang balik raya ngan mommy ngan daddy tak cuti ni?”

I cant wait to kiss you fifty years from now as husband and wife and still fall in love with you…… I cant wait to tell the world ive been married to my wife for 50 years and I love her even more then when I met her….

I cant wait to kiss you every night before we sleep and everyday when we wake up…..

I cant wait for our first raya as husband and wife…. I cant wait to treat your family like my own. I cant wait to say to your mom or dad “Mak.. mak sorang kat jb ni… mak datang duduk dengan fee ngan ina lah mak…. Fee risau mak sorang kat sini…” This applies to your dad to I don’t mind and my mom too if you don’t mind

I cant wait for the first time when you kiss my moms hand and she pinches your nose gently and kiss your cheek and tell you “You’re my favorite daughter, you know that right?”

I cant wait for you to hug me gently when im facing a problem at work and you tell me “everythings gonna be ok….”

I cant wait to say “Youre right sayang… its gonna be ok…”
I cant wait to tell you “don’t worry sayang ill figure things our for us..”
I cant wait to hear you say “Youre right abang..” and youll hug me…..
I cant wait to kiss you fifty years from now and still fall in love with you….
I cant wait for our last kiss before I die and ill tell the heavens I loved and lived with an amazing woman who loved me thank you god… I didn’t think id be so lucky…
I cant wait to pick up our kids from school and telling them “Mommy masak best malam ni..”
I cant wait to hear you scream from the door of our house… “Daddy… dah dah bawak anak anak masuk mandi dah nak maghrib dah ni..dah lah main basketball tu…”
I cant wait to hear you say “Abang… sayang malas nak masak mlm ni… makan luar boleh??”
I cant wait to say “takperlah biar abang masak k??? ker say ada teringin nak makan aper aper??”
I cant wait to say “happy 1st anniversary!” “happy 10th anniversary!” “Happy 20th anniversary!!!”
“Happy 30th anniversary!!!” “Happy 40th Anniversary!!” and “Happy 50th Anniversary!!”
I cant wait to go to midvalley thirty years from now and say… “Remember this is where I first met you…”
I cant wait go to putrajaya with you and say “You remember???”
I cant wait to see you every valentines and buy you flowers with cards that say “You know I don’t celebrate valentines but it’s a good chance to buy you flowers to tell you youre still the love of my life.”
I cant wait to kiss you 50 years from now and still fall in love with you….
I cant wait for us be 70 and 69 and still together and in love with each other….

Have I mentioned that I cant wait to kiss you 50 years from now and still fall in love with you??? If I have its only because I really want it heheh…

But most of all I cant wait for the moment where we sit together on a bench somewhere looking at our grand kids playing and I turn to you and say “Ive done everything I ever wanted to in this world… its only meaningful because I have you…” 

I cant wait to hold your hand after that and kiss your cheek and say “After 50 years sayang…. I love you even more than the day I met you 50 years ago…. And as long as I shall live..my love for you is only going to grow… I love you sweetheart..”

p/s – after you read this, youre gonna tell me you want it in the blog and you can post it for me… I do sayang love you with everything I have and all those things I wrote I meant… I love you…. I hope you like this.. it didn’t cost much but its everything my poetic mind and soul can offer you… I love you

3 comments:

F said...

Sab, I hope my words is not harsh (only Fee can make harsh words sounded beautiful).
You know why Allah take him from you? Because of this. Because all of these.All of what he written in the letter shows that he deserves you here (duniawi) and he deserves you MORE in Jannah (akhirat). He already knows that he is going to leave you and hoping that you'll be his forever (and i mean it FOREVER). Pray that you'll meet each other back in Jannah. I havent witness a love and connection this powerful and inspiring. Ya Allah, Makbulkanlah doa-doa Sabrina dan temukanlah mereka semula di JannahMu. Sesungguh Engkau yang telah menulis jodoh dan qada'qadar mereka,maka Kau satukanlah mereka semula. Amin.

Anonymous said...

Im touched..my tears even burst in the middle I read this...hugs from fazlina :)

Mumia said...

Be tough be strong mummy sabby
Think positive at least he got u this nicely carved words to accompany u till Jannah.. He got u hanee (hahaha if he were her i akan gelak2 kan dia nk anak laki xabis2) hahaha bongek..
And he got u me.. He is a great fren and a great man that fellow..
Seriously sab, no one was here for me during my downturn life except few ppl inc him.. A v exceptional man that fella
Lmao.. Haha i miss him too la sab..
Org yg baik Allah mst sayang..
Org yg baik ramai org kenang..
Napee org baik.. Now cheer up lady! Go watch that movie cappadocia tu and fefeling2 k? Wink2.. 😍