Friday, April 9, 2010

Perdition


"And He Gripped me Tight and Raised Me From Perdition"


I woke up and watched the rotating fan on the ceiling. Like any other day, my eyes was blinded in the beginning by the ray of sunlight beaming through the open space of my curtains. Already I can hear the outside bustling world of cars and motorbikes and trains and trams. I blinked a few times. Sat up on the side of my bed, and then faced the ray of light straight in the eye. I wondered for a second, if today, I would see Him again. Like that night. The night He gripped me tight and raised me from perdition.

Perdition means hell. Perdition means eternal damnation. Forever tortured for the days spent in a way-ward manner. But there are many hells. There is the hell we've all grown up learning about. And then theres our own kind of hell. Our own brand of hell. The hell we put ourselves through due to guilt.

And I Left A Mark Burning Red On Your Right Shoulder As Images of Demons Chasing After You Shivered Your very Own Humanity.

The cold water was running down my whole body as I felt the five fingers on my right shoulder. I turned the warm water off and stood in front of the mirror. I moved my body to the side taking a long look at the hand print on my right shoulder. Red, Burning, as if to indicate how tightly He had gripped me. To raise me from the demons, to raise me from perdition.

It did to an extent.... shivered my humanity.

Earlier, I had looked at the stars. Why me? Why do I deserve to saved?

"You do not believe you deserve to be saved?"

No.... I dont think I deserve any of this....

"It is a terrible feeling... to feel like you do not deserve grace... why do you shoulder this burden? Why do you allow yourself to be crushed under the weight of the world?"

Because... I know no other way..

"You are loved my son.... If you are kept here... it is because there is task you must finish..."

--tears welled up--

What if Im not strong enough?

"Have faith my son... I did not make you weak..."

Months after that.... I walk the same path he had lain before me before perdition. Before Hell, torment and torture. Only now... I know... I am stronger. Because I have faith.. there fore.. I am stronger.

The End

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