Lie and Truth

Have you ever lied? What makes you lie? What kind of lies?
If you asked me those questions, my answers would be: YEAP. Because I don’t want me or so-so to get hurt. Just white lies.

Lying is bad. Or so we are told constantly from birth. Honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, I chopped down the cherry tree. Hey it rhymes! Whatever.

The fact is: Sometimes, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth... the truth freaking hurts. Like Meredith said, “Here’s the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie”

The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to heart. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.

The hardest thing you can give someone is the truth. The truth is hard. The truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth. But do they really?

Car conversation

Today was different then any other day.. The mamak stall session was not that productive.. we spent most of the time talking about different kinds of food we werent eating that day haha... but the session in the car seemed to be a little weird... Shafiq (a good friend of mine) spoke a little about what he had to do today.. you see shafiq talked about marketing (accumulating a certain amount of money for a program) and he spoke about two things.

Firstly the most basic of marketing strategies known to UKM students. We call it "Street Marketing". If you have ever been in a Malaysian High School, you pretty much know that basic of this strategy. All you do is talk to people on the streets and try hard to have them donate as much money as possible. I remembered it being so much easier when we i was younger. I realized when you were young you had no ego. You would walk up to anyone you saw and ask if they were interested. Getting a lot older now, teenagers particularly, we have this mentality who would like to give and who would not like to give. Plus most people dont like giving money to a bunch of teenagers who look like they're trying to convince you to join a Multilevel Marketing Scheme (sorry lack of better terms). I am not one to gloat, but i found it amazing to do street marketing. I like the interaction i do with people. Making them laugh, trying to convince them with a smile and some jokes. But i liked it and i realized that if people put more effort into smiling and trying to be funny... your more succesfull. Its kinda how you go through life. People like that... the whole witty smiling thing...

I like to think that some people think being cool is the way to go... and sometimes it is... i have a lot of "cool" friends... but i also have those happy go lucky people in life... and i love them... i love the idea of that always laughing and smiling... having only a few bad days... but the people who try to have fun without trying to have toooo much fun are the people i like most... we chat drink have fun... but we dont do drugs, alcohol etc.

Have fun but not too much fun....

More like a smile not a laugh... thats what we talked about.... we talked about how to smile and show youre trying... dont try too hard... but try at least a bit.. smile not laugh... just smile ;)... anyways... i like writing in this new blog... it makes me happy... it makes me smile but not laugh hehehe

Pain and Hope

Doctors are trained to look for disease. Sometimes the problem is easily detected, most of the time they need to go step by step. Mula-mula, searching the surface looking for any sign of trouble. Most of the time, they can't tell what's wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell a whole other story.

Sebagai manusia, kita semua dah cuba yang terbaik. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. If we are lucky, we end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear, dan perlukan more than just a quick fix. For some wounds, you have to rip of the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.

Masa kecil dulu, my parents pernah kata “Dah, biarkan luka tu kena angin, jangan guna plaster, nanti lambat baik” when I got deep cuts. Well, though we know it’s not exactly the right thing to do because there’s possibility that my luka bole kene jangkit kuman, but they are our parents, they dah makan garam lebih! That’s why they wanted us to rip off the plaster. To let our luke breathe. =)

Doktor ni banyak kasik fakta. But what we, the patient, really want to know is - will the pain go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What patients really want to know is - is there hope? Is there hope that all my infections will go away? Will all the medicines you gave to me really work, doctor? But hey, like always, doctors will convince you using their convincing tone that you are going to be ok.

But what if we are not ok? Then, it will bring us back to square one, the feeling of pain again. Also, what if the pain cannot be treated with pain-killers?

Then, you just have to ride it out. You can only hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals, and pray you are going to be ok. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside.

Right.

You can see me perfectly fine, doctor. But I am still not ok.

Another Choice

What i am about to tell you might sound like i took it out of a typical drama. But in actuality, this actually happened to a friend of mine. So here's the scenario... before i start... i would like to state... i cannot believe im writing this down... but some of the things he said struck a note....

My friend (lets call him Alif) has a girlfriend (call her Alin) and Alin has just gotten an offer to work abroad in Australia.. or New Zealand not sure... but the thing is that they've been dating for 4 years and pretty much have never dated anyone except each other... So Alin decided it was not worth leaving Alif behind. Alif wanted it to be Alin's choice so whatever she chose to he just accepted it. Dont get me wrong, Alif probably is just as successful as Alin but maybe Alin is just lucky. Anyway, Alin's parents heard the story and invited Alif for a lunch outing just the three of them...

At this lunch outing... Alins parents convinced Alif that Alif was holding her back. They said even if Alif did not ask her to stay, he is the reason why Alin stayed and he should let her go pursue a dream and a future. The talk lasted for a few hours in which by the end... Alif was convinced he was holding her back... So Alif tried subtly convincing her to go... she was determined.. she wouldnt go because it would just pull them farther apart... So he did what he thought was necessary. He didnt wanna hold her back... so he said...

"I think we should end our relationship here... maybe its time to think about ourselves..." Alin heard this, questioned him which he answered with stares out the window... and Alin left...

Days that followed after that were filled with short messages on what had happened, did she do something wrong and of course in the end... do you have someone else... Alin is in pain... she was left...

Alif was in bigger pain... he had to leave someone he loved... this is what he said to me...

"I just dont get it... I loved her unconditionally... why is the first thing she asked after our break was not "did somethin happen??" but rather "is there someone else?" doesnt she know that this is killing me?? doesnt she know that the only reason i would leave her... if it meant better things for her??"

....................this is what i said............

In all honesty... you dont get to choose what you think is good for her... thats her choice... only she has the right to choose what she thinks would make her happy... its not her parents... and definitely not you... even if she has a successful future but if shes not happy without you then all the money in the world wont help...

Alin... you should know... how much he loves you... never once feeling like he wanted to even glance at another women... it kills him to let you go and the only reason why he's doing it is because he's doing what he thinks is right for you...

Alif... i understand youre insatiable need to make her life better... but have you ever thought that maybe... her life is only better when she has you around... think about it...

At the end of the day... everyday we make choices.. but we dont make choices for people in our lives... only they are allowed that luxury... we might get hurt or we might like the choices they make... but its still their choices... not ours... tell her the truth... let her pick... then you'll really know what makes you happy....

Scars

Can you see the scars on his face? Nampak macho kan? hehe.

Anyway, I think semua orang ade scar. Be it eyes-can-see scars or invisible scars. Tipu lah kalau takde scar langsung.

People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. It’s like secret roadmaps of their personal histories…diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers. Sometimes, looking at own scars is enough to make one hurts.

Mane satu yang worse? New wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did?

Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what I like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.

So, do you have scars?

Choosing a future

A few friends of mine invited some of their brothers and sisters to sit along with me and talk about their future. As i sat the 'mamak' stall waiting for them i was nervous about what to tell them. I mean how do you tell a bunch of teenagers how to go through life when you yourself are just 22 years old? My first thought was probably normal 'I am definitely not the guy anyone should be asking these questions to' but my friends insisted on my knack to convince people so i agreed. Which leads me back to the 'mamak' stall.

When they got there, they were a few of them, and they sat down and ordered. One of them said,

"Thanx bro sebab wanting to talk dengan kita orang." i smiled and as usual the 'dont-worry about it' followed.

one said
"Kena pikir betul-betul ni, i don't want to go to a university to do something i'm going to regret my whole life..."

another said
"Dah lah zaman sekarang ni degree dah macam tak guna, dapat degree tak marketable lagi tak guna"

and of course my personal favorite
"Taknak aku belajar tiga tahun then kena apply jadi guru ganti kat sekolah"

These were comments coming from 18 and 19 year olds. Obviously they were matured for their age and that they were intelligent. But as much as i liked the spirit they showed they were still like me when i was their age. So i told them

"Listen guys, remember this, in life what kind of education you get plays a minor role about who you are in the future. What matters most is how you face the life in a university and how that contributes to your growth as a person. You can be a medic student who is guaranteed a high paying job, or you can be an engineer destined for gritty but high paying priced job. But its not gonna mean anything if you're not happy."

I believe that, i believe in learning what you wanna learn. Go to a university and learn things you wanna know about. Not just things that will get you a good job and financial security in the future. I might not have met enough people in my life, but i have met enough to say this, people who choose to learn for the benefit of the money, might have a bigger car, and a bigger house or a much more prettier paycheck. But people who learn what they love, comes home to his wife and children everyday with a smile. Hugs his/her children take them out for a nice dinner, come home and watch a movie and go to sleep a night knowing they did well today.

Im not saying a high-paying job is not good or we shouldnt go after it. But fulfill the most important parts of your lives first. Enjoy that first kiss, or that first date, or that first time you feel "real" butterflies in your stomach (by real im trying to differentiate it with the butterflies in highschool) and enjoy what you do.

Aristotle once said, "find something you like, make it your job and you'll never have to work a day in your life."

So you can find a marketable course you think is right for you, or be lawyer or a doctor, or an engineer. But my advise sounded something like this.

"You cant worry about choosing a future because you're worrying about something you cannot control. So why worry, but you can worry about now, since you can do something about it, asks yourself, what would make you happy now? Would it make you happy to read and read and read and get a law degree? or would working with engines and theories on how to make it better make you happy? You can be anything you want, but you would only want to be something that would make you happy."

So my last words were

"Dont think what the future holds for you, but think about how happy you can be with the future you created based on what you like. Don't think about how happy you are doing a job, but how happy doing a job makes you feel...."

By the end of the day, i had to pay for 12 roti canai's, 4 teh o ais, 3 milo ais, and a few other i cant remember. Ceit.. barely into life and they're already cheap hehe bye people...

Introduction

En el principo means "In The beginning". In what particular language? i have no idea. This post is an introduction, an introduction is a beginning, an opening, a preface, a prologue so to speak. More importantly, a beginning of what?

This blog is dedicated to everything and anything under the blue sky. We'll write about movies, life, music, love, events, situations. This a place for the different. Here different is unique. Typical is not cliched but rather, conformed. A place to speak about bad and good times. A place to let loose and share. A place to believe and hope. A place for guidance and help. A place where everyone is accepted no matter who you are. A place called Alexandria. A home for the brave.

A place to say good morning with a cup of coffee. A place to share a glass of hot cocoa during a rainy day. A place where you can feel like you're apart of something. But most importantly, a place where everyone can make a beginning. This is a place dedicated to blogging, the best way to say what you have in your head. A place to pour your heart out.

Introduction - to introduce, preface, foreword, prologue preamble, overture... so ladies and gentlemen... let us begin this chapters of our lives with YAY!!!! enjoy